Dictionary.com defines Influence as:

Noun:

  • The capacity or power of persons or things to be a compelling force on or produce effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc., of others.

He used family influence to get the contract.

  • The action or process of producing effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc., of another or others.

Her mother’s influence made her stay.

Synonyms:

guidance, pressure, sway, effect

  • A person or thing that exerts influence.

He is an influence for the good.

Dictionary.com defines Influential as:

Adjective:

  • having or exerting influence, especially great influence.

three influential educators.

Synonyms:

important, forceful, consequential

In both cases, one can see that influence and influential are two words that carry a weight of authority and respect, both good and bad.

Who has been the most influential person in your life?

Reading that sentence, one can automatically assume it’s a graduation speech. Rather, it has been a question my soon-to-be senior is being asked on college applications. Interestingly, I believe that the question has considerable value whether one is applying for college or even interviewing for a job. It’s not a one-word answer type of question either. My daughter has been given some good thoughts in figuring out who she is. I have even encouraged her to go further and consider these other questions too.

  • Who has shaped you the most?
  • Who do you look up to for counsel and advice?
  • What do you admire the most about this individual who has influenced you and has been influential in your life?

It made me think about who the most influential person in my life has been. I’ve been around for a few decades, and I can honestly say that I’ve really had one person who has affected me the most throughout all my experiences. That would be my mom. Now, I’ve had great teachers, wonderful mentors at work, and supportive family and friends. They’ve all helped me grow as an individual, a wife, a mom, a sister, etc. But I have to tell you, my mother has always been a foundation, a starting point, a central figure in how I have dealt with life trials and triumphs.

It hasn’t always been easy. Growing up, my mother set the tone of the home. If she was happy, we were all happy. If she was angry, well, our days weren’t that great. I learned struggle, I learned fear, I learned perseverance, and I learned gratitude over the years.

Today, my mom is in her mid-80s. She’s slowed a lot. She repeats herself often, forgets things often, and not as spunky as she used to be. Our arguments and disagreements were fierce when I was younger. If I did something wrong, you bet I was getting in trouble. I have always respected her and loved her. Someone once told me that I can have many mom-figures in my life, but there’s only one mother, and to accept the one you got. I don’t have regrets about who my mom is. God had this plan for me, and I honor Him by loving her.

As a mother of two high-school-aged daughters, one can surely imagine the struggles of our daily lives. Me, the parent trying to raise fiercely independent daughters, like a mother hen with her baby chicks, and them, wanting to fly the coop and take on the world. It’s definitely a tug-of-war of disagreements and different views of the world. However difficult, I’m learning to balance.

My job is to equip them as best as I can to be strong-willed, decisive, loving, and smart young women in society. I realize that it starts with me through my words and actions, and  of course, my brokenness. The real me. No fake it till I make it, because parenting is hard and there is beauty and pain in rearing children. I know when they were smaller they thought I was this grand figure in their lives. Of course, as they have gotten older, they can see now that I’m not a superhero, but a human being with feelings and emotions, just like them. As they mature and grow, they’re realizing I am unable to be their EVERYTHING. My prayer is that they find good influences in their lives. If I make the “list,” that’s great. If not, that is okay too.

A couple of years ago, my eldest, the one currently applying for college, told me I have quite a presence in our home. It has stayed with me. Not in a boastful sense, but a humbling one. They are watching me. They are watching you and me, mommas, just like I’ve watched my mom all these years.

Again, I’ll leave you with this…

Who has been the most influential person in your life?

 

References:

Photo by Ann H: https://www.pexels.com/photo/wooden-blocks-spelling-influenced-against-neutral-background-32342302/